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parenting 101

September 3, 2010

I feel encouraged to share three important quotes I have read/heard in the last two days in regard to parenting – 2 quotes are from the latest Runner’s World.

  • Paula Radcliffe responded three different ways “it just doesn’t matter” when asked about pregnant running/racing/training.  Her reasoning,it’s about the baby and my family. not about me  The world record holder in the marathon understands that family comes before anything else.  Including work.  

  • How Hunter Lussi – a 16-year-old who has complete 33 triathlons – responded when another runner remarked “That’s amazing. I just bought my kid a $1000 bike, but he won’t ride it.”  – “Why don’t you go ride with your son?   Hunter is wise and offered a bit more parenting advice, “Parents say they don’t have time, and teenagers say they don’t want to be with their parents.  But that’s an excuse.  (I love Hunter!  I’m going to hire him!)

  • A single mom on my caseload – dad in prison – raising two children plus her nephew – all under 4 years old – working full-time – struggling to make ends meet – “I had to stop and realize that I have to spend time with each of them.  They are so much easier when I spend more time with them.”  Previously she felt guilty because Dad was gone and she was too tired to “deal with it“, discipline, and connect.  The children’s behaviors have improved and Mom’s mood has too.  This was the first time (in 16 years) when my body responded with goose bumps and tears filled my eyes. 

Parenting can be simple if we let it with two basic points to remember:

  1. Connection – children who are more connected (feel loved, bonded, safe – emotionally & physically) are more likely to behave and want to be with their families.   Whether you have a 2-year-old tantruming or a 13-year-old screaming they are asking the same question, “Do you love me?”  Our job is to answer “YES! with all my heart”.

  2. It’s not about you – as soon as we feel the jolt of a nasty glare, a bite, a snarky remark, we tend to believe we are the victims.  Children misbehave when they don’t feel understood or alone.  They deserve our empathy – especially the children we care for.  It is our duty as parents to put aside the guilt, history, lack of support, whatever is holding you back, and love them for all their imperfections.

Have a great weekend!

Update: Started this post at 6am – but kids, yoga, a drs appointment and emotions are just getting me to complete it.  So…here’s the scoop.  The Doc says shin-splints.  Gave me some ideas on how to care for them, hooked me up to electrolysis (i love that) and rubbed bio-freeze on them – kinky (did i mention this is my husband’s college roommate?).  Told me to take it easy.  To stop doing strenuous workouts – no more hills, no more speed, no more ‘pushing through the pain’.  I’m sad.  Really sad.  And, I’m okay.  My immediate thoughts were “What?!?” and “I really want to break 2 hours!!”  But then the reality set in.  I’m okay – life could be much worse.  A sub 2 hour doesn’t improve my life.  However, not being able to run would destroy my life.  Training hard doesn’t make me a better me.  Running does. 

He did mention compartment syndrome which totally freaks me out.  It would be the end.  Some of the symptoms he described I am experiencing.  My wise husband is encouraging a second opinion to keep me optimistic (and keep life happy at home).  Next step.  Calling a different Doc.  I trust our friend, but I need more.

Thanks for your thoughts and concerns.  I feel all warm and fuzzy when I read them.

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