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coping

September 2, 2010

This whole running thing has got me thinking again.   I’ve been noticing some consistent coping patterns that are not too *um* healthy.

  • When a run does not go as planned . . . I eat.  I eat a lot!  Monday for example.  After running pain-free on Saturday I felt like I was “back”.  (remember that entire mojo post??)  As I stepped on the treadmill Monday afternoon I had not felt any leg pain – AT ALL!  As soon as I hit the “Start” button all hell broke loose.  I made it 35 seconds!  Yes.  Less than one minute.  I couldn’t bend and flex my feet due to severe calf pain.  I walked up the stairs (pain-free) and proceeded to eat three twizzlers, a bowl of cereal and a cookie.  nice.   Keep in mind, this was all about an hour before dinner – I had no problem downing my dinner too. 
  • My summer has been full of stressors – stress with family, stress with friends, stress with clients, and stress with scheduling.  Nothing new for most people – but I’m interested – do most people avoid all stressors in the hopes they will magically go away?  I haven’t seen my step-father in two months.  I haven’t given friends the attention they deserve.  I have complained and complained about clients – the ones hurting the most – instead of researching, reading, and getting supervision to help them.  I have avoided filling my calendar – as if the emptiness of it were true.  But. . .my house is super clean and I’ve had a chance to do some redecorating.  aaaahhhh…the smell of fresh paint.
  • When my children are hurting I’m not sure how to approach the subject with friends.  Either they try to ‘fix it’ or they haven’t experienced it.  I feel as if my awesome 13-year-old boy is the only one in the world to be called awful names.  As a mom I feel stuck between “I’m sorry honey – that sucks.” and “Punch that ass in the face!”  I believe empathy is always the best choice in parenting – however two years of hearing it was wearing on me, him and his dad.  Luckily this week I opened up with a mom of my son’s “old friend” (before middle school) and found out her son has been dealing with the same thing and that he thought my son was against him.   I’m amazed at how free I feel – her too.  I tend to keep a lot inside because, frankly, other folks have bigger issues than me.  Not fair.  A safe place to vent is always helpful. 
  • When work gets tough – I avoid.  I read blogs – not helpful.  I do busy work – vacuuming, painting, emptying dishwasher, blogging, etc. (can you tell its stressful right now?)  I even call my decorator friend and she brings carpet samples out (she’ll be here in 20 minutes).  UGH!  If only the decorator fairy would grace me with cash for the carpet. 
My legs hurt. Dr. appointment tomorrow – finally.  I know you’re just as ready as I am to find out what has been causing all my bitching.
My heart is full. 
My house is hitting the 21st century.
High School football starts tomorrow & KSU football starts Saturday.  That is plenty to be thankful for in my book this week!
Run on Friends!
Why I’m not faster: no-bake cookies, licorice, ice cream bars, and 1/2 gallon cream in each cup of coffee.
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10 Comments leave one →
  1. September 2, 2010 12:03 pm

    Totally with you sis.
    Pre- Chicago vaca! I was whipping ass at the gym & run group 6 days a week. No sweets! No caffeine! AWESOME HEALTHY!
    Post- Chicago Vaca? WTH is the gym? Why did I go there? Yum- CAKE! CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES, SNICKERS, MIKE AND IKEs

    I think we totally need a whip in the ass on the sweets. 😉

    • Shana permalink
      September 2, 2010 2:13 pm

      Yes. I have only eaten pineapple and banana today as my ‘sweets’.
      they were o.k.

  2. September 2, 2010 12:46 pm

    Cookies cure everything, didn’t you know that? I know I always eat better when I’m running better – thus the 5000 lbs I currently need to lose. Right now, it feels like there’s no purpose to lose the weight – though I know that’s not true, it just doesn’t feel the same. I’m making slow progress though.

    I’m sorry your leg is being a bummer – and THANK gawd you have insurance and get to go have it looked at – I am envious but so glad (I AM!!) that you will have a diagnosis soon!!

    And you know we’ve talked about the kid thing before and the painful choices I had to make with my daughter and her issues. We all have our own set of problems – you are not alone there. ((HUGS) to you on that one!!!

    Hang in there, Sweetums. Much love to you!! And I mean that!
    xo

    • Shana permalink
      September 2, 2010 2:14 pm

      I know!!
      My entire thought process the last few days was “well, if I’m not running. . .then WHO CARES!” I even bought Chips Ahoy! the other day. I have never purchased a bag of those – EVER!

  3. September 2, 2010 1:41 pm

    Oh girl I hear ya. On so many levels. The kid thing is tough. I find that I have to share that stuff only with my “safe” friends, the ones I can really trust. And you are right, sometimes they don’t even get it. Glad you found a mom to open up to; sounds like it helped.

    Interested to hear what the doc says…

    • Shana permalink
      September 2, 2010 2:15 pm

      So glad I have you gals who’ve been there.
      Either my kid is super sensative or an easy target.
      Personally, I think everyone is jealous. 🙂

  4. September 2, 2010 2:08 pm

    I’m sorry you’ve been so stressed lately, I eat when I’m stressed too…I also eat when I’m not stressed…and when I’m feeling bad …and when I’m feeling good, you get the idea. I hope you get some good news from the doc, maybe it can be cured by pushing an “easy” button?

    • Shana permalink
      September 2, 2010 2:16 pm

      Yes. “easy” will be in my vocabulary soon (ie. 8 easy miles)!!

  5. September 2, 2010 8:01 pm

    I eat a lot period. Doesn’t matter how I’m feeling. It’s a very sad thing….sigh.

    Girl, you aren’t a KU Jayhawks fan are you? I would totally have to “defriend” you if you were. I am a Mizzou fan. I can live with K-State, not as big of a rivalry! Haha!! Do you watch NFL?

    Hmmmm…..keep us posted on your leg. Hope it’s ok.

    • Shana permalink
      September 3, 2010 5:59 am

      I wasn’t very clear. I’m fine with the “quantity” – it’s the “quality” that has been bad lately. Gave the head’s up on “no more sugar” last night – one said, “good” the other said, “wwwhhhhyyyyyy?” that’s my girl!

      And K-who? No! I can hardly look somone in the eye if they are wearing any blue or red.

      Not big on NFL – however I have no choice but to watch it. From today until the end of January my life revolves around football (and swimming, and running)

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