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recovery

August 9, 2010

I’m back.  I’m glad.   

The last few weeks have been full of emotion and self-reflection.  I tend to get stuck in a process every-so-often and I need a good break from life to recover.  Thankfully, I have accomplished and gotten over that pile.  Emotions hold a strong influence in how I care for myself.   If I feel “not enough” then my care of self is low.  In these moments I have to let go of any outside influences and focus on what returns me to what is true and real.   What did I learn along the way? 

  • I am good at what I do.   I am competent and knowledgable in my area of counseling and I have helped many families succeed.
  • I set goals for myself that may or may not be achievable.  Not that cutting 2 minutes off my 1/2 marathon time isn’t achievable, but doing it while holding down a job, volunteering, having kids home for the summer, taking care of my family, holding classes, and attending swim meets all over the earth, may be more than my body can handle at this moment. 
  • I decide things before thinking them through.  This blog for example. I felt sure that I could do it.  I’m not sure I really have the time.
  • Running has become work.  When taking care of myself becomes work, I no longer want it. 
  • Variety is the key to my success.  I get bored easily.  Last week I ran 3x’s, got a massage and went to yoga.  I felt better immediately.
  • When I compare myself to others I always lose.  I have fasted from many things and feel more free than I have in a long time. 
  • I’m not alone.  After a break from blogs I have returned to find out that many folks were feeling the same.  Thankfully.  I’m not alone in this.  Though I knew this, there is a sense of relief in feeling normal v. feeling like a lunatic. 
  • I LIKE me!  A lot.  There is no one else I would rather be.  No one I want to trade places with.  Not another.  I’m good where I am.

Only 5 days til my next 1/2.  Looking forward to time alone with my sweetie and uninterrupted conversation. 

Run on Friends!

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6 Comments leave one →
  1. alliebear permalink
    August 9, 2010 4:18 pm

    Sometimes we all just need time to recharge, take care of yourself and do what you need to do to make you happy.
    And good luck on your half!

    • Shana permalink
      August 11, 2010 3:13 pm

      Yes. And making plans to meet gives me the smiles. 🙂

  2. CousinRunner permalink
    August 11, 2010 11:36 am

    Good on Ya!

  3. August 11, 2010 12:38 pm

    I think we ALL have days/weeks were things just aren’t flowing and we feel that no matter how hard we try, it’s not all going to happen. And this affects our mood and thus affects our ability to perform (aka: run). When running becomes work, it’s no longer fun. Some people have more drive and dedication and will do anything to run, others not so much…and it’s okay. It’s what makes us the “us” that we love so much!

    Looking forward to seeing you. Had a small snafu in the accommodations for Friday night but it appears we can use my girlfriend’s place in Silverthorn. Hope to see you (but sad you aren’t doing the girls’ weekend as originally planned 😦 ) soon.

    xo

    • Shana permalink
      August 11, 2010 3:14 pm

      Let’s plan on making a connection Friday afternoon or Saturday after the run. Can’t wait!

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