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July 13, 2010

Have I mentioned we spent the weekend out-of-town?  Did I mention we sat at a swim meet for two days?  6 hours the first day (for 2 minutes of swimming) and 8.5 hours the next day (for 5 minutes of swimming).  Have I ever mentioned the fact that I eat out of pure boredom most of the time?  Rarely do I feel hungry.  If I do, it’s been a while and food better come fast.   Have I ever mentioned that the hungrier I get, the worse my food choices? 

Here’s an example of our days at the pool:  eat breakfast (eggs, toast, coffee), get a sub on the way to the meet for lunch, sit and eat (twizzlers, almonds, granola bars, and cookies), eat a good dinner (sandwich, soup, wrap, etc.).  Unfortunately our last day in the big city required a much-needed visit to an amusement park to get our adrenaline pumping.  Ate a bowl of cereal for breakfast, dined at Backfire BBQ for lunch (tasty but UGH!) and then ate a bunch of crap at the park.  Including this:

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The Cinnabon.  I looked at it and said to my family, “Here comes one huge headache.”  I know I get headaches from sugar.  The high from it, and then the crash from it.  Within 20 miles of the park my head was pounding.  I survived.  But last night, in the middle of the night, the crash occurred.  2am I woke up with a brain splitter.  Thus causing my run to be tossed out with the cookies I was so attached to. 

What I have learned from my sugar issue is I am better off if I detox from it (along with all the Advil, excedrin, and aleve i have ingested).  Sweat this $HIT out!!  So I did.  I ran.  My head doesn’t feel better, but my stomach sure does.   I’m better off letting go of my mistakes and purging myself of my poor choices. 

As I ran I thought more about the parents I am working with (parenting class again this morning) and how they try so hard.  They are frustrated with a system that sets them up to fail.  Worse yet, they are fairly consistent in their failures.  This morning we talked about the pain these parents are facing because of the mistakes they have made – knowing full well they were making a mistake when they did it.  Its their Cinnabon.  Seeing what is coming.  Knowing you will hate the consequences and the pain, but doing it anyway.  It sucks. Being able to recognize your own down-fall and doing nothing to stop it. 

I find myself doing it all of the time while parenting.  Huffy breaths.  Rolling eyes.  Walking away.  or Using a voice-tone I pray my children will ignore.  I have studied and felt the consequences of these behaviors for years.  It’s not enough that I apologize by saying, “I’m sorry.”.   I believe I have to ask for forgiveness.  That my children feel equal in our home.  Equal in respect, not in control.   That they know there is a reason for my attitude.   Typically it is nothing they have done.  Often it is my own selfishness.  My belief that I am the parent and I get what I want.  hahahahaha  Nothing has ever been farther from the truth and I love it. 

Over the years I have had to detox a lot of negative beliefs about myself and others.  Being a parent brought that out even more.   I want my children to feel value every time they call my name or walk into a room.  I want every parent I work with to be heard and feel confident that they can do just one thing better.  I want to look at a goal and say, “I will reach it!”  I want to laugh in the face of Cinnabon and say you wish“.

What can you detox from your life?

4 Comments leave one →
  1. July 13, 2010 3:06 pm

    Love your “huffy breaths”. I often don’t have to say anything at all to my kids, just a look in my eye or a ‘huffy breath’ and they know I’m not happy. I also love your comment :My belief that I am the parent and I get what I want.” HAHAHAHA is right. Even if we wanted that to be true (which, truthfully, there are times when I really do want that), and even though my kids often think it IS true, it couldn’t be farther from the truth most of the time!
    I’ve been working with my kids on tone of voice, and they work with me right back. “Mom, your tone of voice changed when you said that.” Not always easy to hear, but truthful most of the time (I usually respond with a huffy breath). (this is Beth the art teacher, by the way).

  2. July 15, 2010 10:01 am

    Does the handful of Froot Loops I have in my hand, trying to shove down my throat so I can free up some finger to type a comment, count?

    • SS Mother Runner permalink
      July 16, 2010 6:46 am

      No – they don’t count – they have the word “Fruit” right in them . . . almost.

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