the real me: worthy

tis time for random.

• two appointments cancelled today.  i sat by the neighbor’s pool for 85 minutes.  i was bored out of my mind.

• i tried to pray.  the wind was distracting.  hmmm. . .

• i have been sweating more since i turned 40.

• i’m almost 41. uh. oh.

• my kids are cracking me up.

• i could eat a cupcake right now.

• my training started for my next 1/2 – i love it.

• i get really excited to have a training program.

• i like my hair.

• i think it’s wrong for me to dance like a 20-year-old – but i do it anyway.

• i vow to have abs of steel by the end of this training.

• i will keep them.

• my brain is very full right now.

• i’m going to stop making a list.

It’s frightening to me – what goes on in my head.  I’m working hard to get to know myself and understand why I do the things I do.  I can’t trust history – I have not always been so awesome.  I used to be a pain in the a$$.  Now I’m quite something. 🙂 

But there are parts of the ‘old me’ that I miss.  The cavalier attitude.  The pride in my accomplishments.  The belief that I could do whatever and not worry (too much) about what others thought. 

Then. . .I grew up – if you want to call it that – into “I hope I say the right thing” or “I can’t believe I just did that.”  Grown-ups can be judgemental and I was my own worst enemy.  Still can be sometimes.

Lately I’ve been thinking about what I LOVE.  Not people I love – because darn it, I can’t make a living kissing my kids, sleeping with my husband, and hanging out with friends.  So what do I love?  I LOVE kids.  I LOVE parenting.  I’ve combined those two loves for a long time – but not everyone I work with feels the same.  Sometimes I feel like I’m working hard to convince parents and teachers that the children in their lives are NOT purposefully making them miserable.  Sometimes I work hard to convince myself that there shouldn’t be a natural selection process at the hospital – the parents, not the babies.  just sayin’. 

I also LOVE running.  I think it’s time to squeeze that into something to help kids and parents. 

I believe every person is an athlete.  I believe every person is worthy of spending the time it takes to take care of their body.   I believe every mommy (sorry dads – we’re different) deserves to recharge everyday to be the best person she can be. 

I’ve got big things in the works.  Maybe I’ll share them sometime.

Run on Friends.