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running through.

April 5, 2010

my hope for my next post was Seattle – however, life has a new direction and Seattle is just a sweet memory.  maybe later.

I can tell you that my return from Seattle has been a very difficult one.  While standing at the airport talking to my Director on the phone she shared that a 19 month old had died at the hands of his mom’s boyfriend.  You can read the article HERE but I warn you, it is graphic and horrific.  The reason she shared this is because part of my job is to help parents before they get to that point.  I’m a counselor/consultant/coach of positive discipline.  I missed this one.  I know I can’t save them all.  But this one tore me up.  I don’t get it.  Heck, I don’t get calling your child a name or talking hurtful to them in any capacity (yes – that’s right folks – I’m perfect and never act like a nut – deal with it).   I was sitting in the airport with my children who just had the time of their life while another child was being tortured to death – not old enough to protect himself.  

I was still mourning the loss of this child and reeling from anger at what happened to this baby when…

My step-father had a motorcycle accident.  You can read that HERE.  Now what?  He has a ‘major brain bleed’ (in and around the brain).  There has been no change in condition – what does that mean?  Mom is without her man.  His daughters are without their father.  The grandchildren are wondering what it all means.  I don’t know. 

I went running today.  I made it about 1/2 mile before I started to cry.  It was good.  I needed it.  I made it another 3.5 before it became uncontrollable.  I lost it on a friend.  I got it together and ran home.  I needed that.  I’m done talking.  I’m done thinking.  But I can’t stop running. 

I’m wondering now… can I run a 1:54 1/2 marathon in honor of my step-dad Jeff (who will be 54)?  3 weeks left.  As I mentioned to a friend, ‘maybe with tears and adrenaline I can do it’.

Now…for some beauty advice.  Did you know that putting your tongue on the roof of your mouth will diminish the look of your double chin? 

It will also make your friend pee her pants a little with laughter.

Run on Friends!

thanks for the prayers and encouragement that has already been sent our way.  we feel it.         love, s

8 Comments leave one →
  1. April 5, 2010 10:27 am

    so so sorry shana.
    praying for you. for real. not just saying that.
    love being sent your way from muscatine….

  2. April 5, 2010 11:35 am

    I am so sorry to hear about both situation! Thank goodness for running when you need to let your emotions go.

  3. April 5, 2010 12:24 pm

    Alright…I got it. Both situations are so awful. I am glad you could run and talk with a friend…it always helps. I send lots of love!

  4. April 5, 2010 12:56 pm

    Wow. Really tough news on both counts. Your job is so difficult. I really get it. Once I was monitoring kids in a foster home (going out weekly). Everything seemed fine. I learned later that they were being beaten and locked in closets. I felt so awful that I had missed that this was occuring. Be kind to youself. I know you do the best that you can at all times. And so sorry about your stepfather.

    Hang in there. Running and good friends are great coping mechanisms!

    PS: you look great with your tongue on the roof of your mouth. You look SO much younger. I’m going to try it.

  5. April 5, 2010 1:36 pm

    My thoughts and prayers are definitely with you right now. You’re right, you can’t save them all but think of all those you do save. Sometimes things are just bigger than us and we have to accept that. Hang in there!

  6. April 5, 2010 1:49 pm

    Sorry to hear about all of the bad news. But thankful to hear you can run through it all – always helped me get through anger/sadness, hope it does the same for you.

  7. Carrie permalink
    April 5, 2010 7:58 pm

    I am so sorry for all of the pain you have felt! Nobody deserves to go through any of what you described! I will be thinking about you and praying for those that need it! Keep running and crying! It does us all a little bit of good!


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